Keyshia Cole-dn't

Macroscopically, Keyshia Cole‘s concert at the Danforth Music Hall was like a clinic in how to successfully engage in a heterosexual mating ritual as there was no shortage of suggestive dancing between the backup dancers, decolletage, and paramouresque peacocking. Beyond that, it was a letdown. This is an artist who’s had three certified platinum albums and knows what it takes to put on a good show, so why didn’t she? All the elements were there: a singer with powerful pipes, neat props like a portable bar and lit-up beach cruiser bicycles, four backup dancers that could power an arsenal of Energizer Bunnies, and an adoring crowd that didn’t even wait until the first song was over before they walked to the stage for close-up camera phone pictures of their idol. Given all the ingredients, a capable chef should be able to produce a decent souffle, but that wasn’t the case tonight. Overall, there just wasn’t enough physical activity on her part to rationalize the excessive lip syncing and, talking to two fans outside, it was a commonly echoed sentiment. ‘Maybe it’s different after she had her baby [three years ago]?’ shrugged one. ‘I don’t know.’

During the show that barely clocked in at one hour, she kept the mic at her side so often that only her backup dancers salvaged the price of admission. Her shimmying quartet outdanced, outmanoeuvred and outperformed her at so many points that Ms. Cole often appeared lost onstage, like she’d wandered into someone else’s show and wasn’t sure how to act.

She did make an effort to connect with the audience, asking the female contingent, ‘Are you feelin’ beautiful tonight? ‘Cause you lookin’ beautiful’, but it was delivered with a slight lack of warmth as though she reserved that line for each stop on her tour. It was also a slight surprise that everyone in the venue heard that because she was guilty a few times of not singing loudly enough into her glittery mic. Again, this girl is a balladeer in the mold of Beyonce and Alicia Keys, but until she fine tunes her act she’ll continue to remain in the shadows of their footsteps. ‘I don’t expect her to be dancing the entire show,’ said the other fan outside, ‘but more actual singing would have been nice.’

Overall, it was a show that was dampened by more than just the April rain that fell outside. Instead of walking away thrilled, fans resembled Ralphie from A Christmas Story: hoping against hell to wake up to a Red Ryder BB gun, but receiving a pink fuzzy bunny onesie instead.