Don't eat when reading- you may choke

As a (burgeoning? struggling? hopeful?) writer, I face challenges and insecurities every day. Because my work is so...unregulated, some of the questions I have to keep pushing out of my mind are: will there be work tomorrow? Did I make a mistake quitting my day job? Will I keep improving and moving upward? How do I stay motivated?

And of course, there's always the question of always looking for work. As a freelancer, it's completely, totally up to me to find work to pay my bills. One of the great things about having a day job was that at 7:30 each morning, my work started and there was always something to do.

Not so with freelancing.

Now, I'm always faced with the risk of complacency, of getting too comfortable with my current situation and missing the urge to keep driving forward. But to counteract that, I remind myself that I like the champagne lifestyle and nobody's going to hand it to me.

But every now and then, I come across people with ridiculous notions in mind. Here are a few listings I've come across (and no, you can't make this stuff up, and yes, I'm in a snarky enough mood to add my comments underneath):

PhD research proposal
Fixed Price Project - Est. Budget $60.00

I need Freelance academic assignment writer has "PhD degree" to write a high professional PhD research proposal , Pages: 5 pages / 1375 words , in Business and Management

(I'm very curious to know where this person will be applying to do their PhD at: the University of the Internet?)

Transcribe 103 minutes of Audio - (1 hour and 43 minutes) - Need to be completed in 24 hours
Fixed Price Project - Est. Budget $60.00

Transcribe 103 minutes of Audio - (1 hour and 43 minutes)
I need this back in 24 hours. And I need timecodes/timestamps every 15-30 seconds. These timecodes/timestamps are already burnt in the video

(I learned, after one interview, that I will not transcribe unless absolutely necessary. It's literally play 3 seconds of audio, type it out, rewind and listen again to make sure you've got it right, and move forward. Even as a fast typer, something like a 15-minute interview can easily take an hour to transcribe.)

Looking for long-term writers - Good pay!

(Why don't you let me be the judge of that?)

Fixed Price Project - Est. Budget $5.00

We are looking for a few writers to add to our team. We need writers that are 100% familiar with SEO, the english language and can write articles, reviews, blog posts, etc. We'd like this to become a long-term relationship.

Requirements:
- SEO knowledge and experience
- Fluent English
- Good writing skills
- Being able to hold-in deadlines (This is a HUGE must)
- Preferably almost always reachable

What to expect:
- Sometimes tight deadlines
- Decent Pay
- Friendly co-workers
- A decent amount of work

Payment:

150 words - $0.75
300 words - $1.25
500 words - $2.00
700 words - $3.25

(There's more, but I read all that I had to.)

Need A Quick 10,000 Word Book Written!

(Don't we all?)

Fixed Price Project - Est. Budget $150.00

Hi,

I am looking for a ghostwriter who is quick and able to do a 10,000 word book all about the history, present and future possibilities of bitcoins.

You must be thorough, have great English skills and be fast. Need this within a week. If you can't do it right in that time frame don't apply.

All rights would remain with me.

Thanks!

(A 10,000-word book is about 33 pages, which works out to $4.50 each page, not including website fees...so about $4/page. Just sayin'.)

And that's what I face on a near-daily basis, that tug-of-war with people who want great material for rock bottom prices.

But at the end of the day, you get what you pay for.