Best and worst airports: Part II

My last post looked at the better half of airports I've visited, ranking them in descending order. Today, I'll be looking at the worst airports I had the displeasure of experiencing, those geographically enormous hellholes that are like giant timeouts for adults in terms of their poor layout, dehumanizing experiences and what they like to call "amenities".

Worst

7. Oslo Rygge — Rygge is Oslo's Ryanair airport but unlike other Ryanair airports, this one's not that bad. It's 67km from Oslo S (compared to 40ish for Gardermoen), but there's a train leaving Oslo S 10 times a day for Rygge. Once you get to Moss-Rygge station, a shuttle bus is waiting to take you the last several kilometres to the airport. It's really small and going through security takes no time at all. The amenities aren't so plentiful but there's a decent selection of quick airport food at the one store they have. And because it's a military air space, you can watch fighter jets take off and land while you wait for your plane. Plus, there's hardly any walking to your gate at all.

6. Łódź — This was a hard choice about whether it would go in the best or worst airports. There aren't a lot of shops or amenities here, which means negative points, but the man at the information desk is incredibly sweet and helpful about using the English he knows to get you on a public transit bus. The Polish currency is really week compared to the Canadian dollar, so you can take a cab if you want to go fast, but really, the bus is pretty dependable and offers you a neat way to see Poland's third-largest city. Keep a sharp eye out for the palely colourful Soviet-style apartment blocks.

5. Pearson — Passing through security never takes the same amount of time. Last time I flew, I was through in literally five minutes at 19:00. Other occasions at that hour, it takes 10 times longer. You can put your liquids, gels and aerosols into a clear plastic bag or not — most of the time it doesn't matter and those in charge of security don't say anything. Pearson got marginally better once they got a Tim Horton's and offered reasonably-priced food, but parking and landing fees are ridiculously exorbitant. And the fact that there's no train to the airport but only TTC buses? C'mon, this is the fourth-largest city in North America. You're lagging far behind.

4. Heathrow — Every plane landing is a crapshoot because sometimes, you can walk off the plane and into the terminal and other times, you have to get on a bus and go for a short ride. Sometimes they'll also combine two flights' worth of luggage onto one carousel, as if they don't have the space to deal with each flight separately. You'll want to check out a map of the place before you enter so you know if certain shops (like cheaper SIM cards) are before or after security. There are also a lot of tourists who stop and gawk in the middle of halls as though it's their first time in an airport. Maybe it is, but you either have to pick up the pace or move to the side. This airport isn't a sleepy Sunday afternoon in an Irish village where you can mingle with sheep in the middle of the road.

3. Paris CDG — While it's true you can take the Paris Metro right to the airport, you're charged zonally (€10) and don't have a choice about cheaper options. I suppose there probably are buses but when the Metro itself takes an hour, do you really want to spend three hours on buses that may only be a third of the cost? Once you arrive, you're greeted with a huge airport that demands a lot of walking. And forget about sating your thirst: a bottle of water costs almost as much as a sandwich, so either fill up beforehand or look for a bottle of wine. Because it's one of the largest airports in the world, landing fees are fairly high and you feel it when you buy your ticket.

2. Stockholm Skavsta — This is another one of those almost purely Ryanair-designated airports. It's over 100km away from Stockholm Centralstation (Stockholm's better-designed version of the Toronto coach terminal and Union Station, combined into one), compared to just 42km for Arlanda Airport. At Skavsta, they speak English, but that's about the only benefit you'll receive. Oh, and the airport buses leave when Ryanair flights land. But it's tiny and there's just one shop, and you're better off choosing Arlanda if you can.

1. London Stansted — Of the five London airports, Stansted's been designated as the one where potentially terrorized planes are to divert and land. Pushing resources there instead of to the public is the only reason I can think of for how distasteful of an experience spending any time at Stansted is. It's far from the biggest airport in the world but is bulging at the seams in terms of growth, and yet the airport isn't divided into terminals; everything's just sort of lumped into one space and, depending on your gate, you have to either do Olympic-length speedwalking or take a once-every-15-minutes train to your final destination. You can't get a decent SIM card, there are relatively scant few places to charge your phone before security (and woe be to the person who sits in the toilets hall and tries to use that outlet), security lines are really poorly managed and among the longest I've experienced, and the staff display the bad side of stereotypical English demeanours by acting polite to your face but not really caring about anything at all. As cheap as Ryanair is, spend the extra few dollars and fly in and out of a better airport. It's just not worth it at Stansted.